| Excuses are what keep you breathing |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|05:57 pm] |
Just as sure as the sky is blue,I've never lied to you.And I've never ever done anything that would render me to be untrue.But, as for you, I couldnt say the same.It still blows me away somehow when you seem so proud of the damage that you've done.I was puppet in your pageant and a game you played for fun.Still now when I see you frown and you see me smile.And you say I'm still the one.You know you are quite the actor but you know im not that dumb.
In my life ive been let down but never as much as you have. I doubt anything will compare to what you did. For the longest time i would wounder what i did wrong..what i had to change..Why you just walked by me and why you turned your head. But it was never my fault. I wore that ring and those strings to show that i would stay true, just like i always have. And then today came,where i was done wearing them. Things arent the same and they never will be. Out of everything i thought to be real its a surprise that you were fake. Yes fake. You dont relieve it but you think about yourself more then others. At least when ever i talked to you. I never thought you would let me down,but you did. And im done. I took your things and put them in a box,and now i walk past you and i turn my head in shame that you let this happen to us you let it get this way. You always told me to just forget what didnt matter to stop forgiving,i bet you didnt think your own advise would come back to bite you in the ass. So here we go just two separate people that never really existed in each others world.
And yes i might make you feel like shit but its only taking what you make me feel like and throwing it back at you. And i hope it hurts to know that i wont be around anymore.I know i was there more then anyone eles ever was. I tired of dirt in my face.Lets be honest you didnt mean half the shit you told me. And im pretty sure you didnt think it would come to this, after all you did promise me it wouldnt get here. I wont lie,it hurts to walk away but theres no way to fix it anymore. Things will never be the same. What we had is gone and its your fualt,just face it. You know im right,i always was.
"the least that you can do is wipe off your shoes before you give yourself another boost. i'll never stoop that low because i know that this is just a game to you. you're all for show. it's so hard to think of anyone else, when you're too busy thinking about yourself. you've mastered the art of giving up and i've had enough, i'm giving up on us. so i'll cut my losses, no more being cautious, i'd rather lose it all than ever become thoughtless. it's so hard to think about anyone else, when you're to busy thinking about yourself. a person can only take so much and i feel like i'm loosing touch. so for your sake and everyone around us, i suggest that you back up. i can't believe you try to cheapen every thing i have achieved. i still stand for everything that i al ways believed was the biggest part of me. part of me. so here we go, you keep trying to pull me back down to zero, but at the end of the day i know i fought hard for everything, so do your worst. i can take anything"-STYG
Your not the person i thought you were,maybe i was that dumb |
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| the fox and the owl |
[Aug. 9th, 2008|11:55 pm] |
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okay so there was a fox and he really like this girl....but everyone said that it would never work...even his best freinds.....cuz she was an owl....she wasnt his kind.....but he still tried to talk to her and make her smile....then one dayy he said something to her that changed his life a simple 4 words....the other foxes were jealous of their love because they had loved one another more then they had ever loved before...they had some rough times though and it wasnt easy because one fox in particular tried to break them up....but he fell of a clif and died....and they fox got his owl and lived happpile ever after |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2008|07:01 pm] |
"the least that you can do is wipe off your shoes before you give yourself another boost. i’ll never stoop that low because i know that this is just a game to you. you’re all for show. it’s so hard to think of anyone else, when you’re too busy thinking about yourself. you’ve mastered the art of giving up and i’ve had enough, i’m giving up on us. so i’ll cut my losses, no more being cautious, i’d rather lose it all than ever become thoughtless. it’s so hard to think about anyone else, when you’re to busy thinking about yourself. a person can only take so much and i feel like i’m loosing touch. so for your sake and everyone around us, i suggest that you back up. i can’t believe you try to cheapen every thing i have achieved. i still stand for everything that i always believed was the biggest part of me. part of me. so here we go, you keep
trying to pull me back down to zero, but at the end of the day i know i fought hard for everything, so do your worst. i can take anything"
I still cant get over the fact that i trusted you.
You think that your god and you
NEVER hurt or let anyone down.
But let me be the one to tell you that you
did hurt me and you did let me down.
You kicked dirt in my face for the last
time i wont stand for it anyone.I dont know
who you are anymore. After all you were
the one that said "you would never do any
thing to hurt me". I guess people say it right
"Never say Never"
p.s....you'll probably NEVER read this either.
and if you do,i told you so... |
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| summer of two thousand and eight |
[Aug. 1st, 2008|12:01 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
its nice to be able to sit back for the first time in
a while and be okay with what surroundsyou.
I guess summer hasnt been that bad. I mean
it could have been a lot worse. I think in the last few
months my maturity level has rose about fourth
percent. Maybe more. Joshua Donald Black is my best
friend. I let some dirty bag rip that apart but its getting
good now. And Joshua Ryan is the greatest love of my life.
Jennifer Marie is the most amazing girl ive ever had the
pleasure of having around. And Roque is also very cool.
I guess things DO happen for a reason. You just never see
it until way later. Dylan was never fit for the job i can tell you that
much. He was just another picture and a memory, Kinda like
Ranger,Matt,and Randal?..Id have to say so. Life isnt about much.
Its about the greatest memories and the people that are in all
of them. Ive got a story book filled with them. Sometimes things
get bad but you have to keep your head up and look past it
because one day its all gonna be better. You just have to wait..
Little does he know, Joshua Ryan saved me..that is of course after
Joshua Donald did :]
Both two of the GREATEST men ive ever come across in my day.
Even at your lowest theres always gonna be someone to come
along and pick you up. You might not be as good as before, but if they
still take you then why not still be strong. Over the last sixteen and a half
years people have surprised me over and over again. The best have
stuck around and the ones i knew wouldnt have already left.
The summer of two thousand and eight was one filled with more love
then you can cram in a hallmark card. |
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| My fox. |
[Jul. 29th, 2008|11:14 pm] |
The greatest love anyone of person can have is what i have.
At times i find myself almost crying because i miss him so much.
Its getting hard to say goodbye. I dont even want to. He makes me
whole again. He picked me up and put me back together. Joshua Ryan
saved my life. I thank god everyday for him. Simple words wont ever
be enough to show how much he means to me. ive never felt this way about
anything in my life. I dont even want it to end. |
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| It will be okay soon.I promise. |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|05:32 pm] |
Things come and go. People walk in and out of your life. And nothing is ever the same
as before. I truly cant wait for summer to get here. Our list has already started and its
only March. Im so happy my sister is back and Koria is here now.
I am finally getting everything together. Ill be a junior soon and before i know
it ill be out of the house on my way into the air force. Things have been more
clear lately and ive realized that i mean a lot to a lot of people.
Before i wasnt so sure about it but now its pretty obvious now.
And i still feel it..and i miss it.
But i dont miss him.
I had my heart ripped out cut up and thrown back at me.
I never want to feel that again.But its inevitable right?
right. |
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| Shes not as bad as i thought her to be. |
[Mar. 16th, 2008|11:58 am] |
she isnt as bad as i thought,just a misunderstanding.
I'm tired of always trying, and always being let down. I want someone else to try.
Someone else to ask those questions. Someone else to want the same.
Its cold today.I dont think i can go out.I want to.But my parents are wack.
I wanna feel alive again.I want to feel free.I want someone to hold my
hand while doing it.
I honestly cant wait till the 29th. |
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| Even if i hated you |
[Mar. 14th, 2008|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
I wouldnt take it all back,because somewhere in between then and now
i leaned how to let go and be free.even if you didnt show me that.
I dont miss you, i miss who you use to be.
i dont miss you, i miss always having someone there.
i dont miss you, i miss feeling safe.
i dont miss you, i miss my best friend.
i dont miss you, i miss being in love.
i dont miss you, i miss who i was before.
i dont miss you, i miss someone choosing.
i dont miss you, i miss being free.
i dont miss you, i miss the way my hair would fall.
i dont miss you, i miss how blue my eyes use to be.
i dont miss you, i miss the things we use to do.
i dont miss you, i just miss how things use to be.
I dont miss you i dont miss crying and i dont miss the pain you caused.
i just miss who i was before.but if i were to change it i would miss who
i am now.
Today, i missed what i had then i saw that i should miss it.
Was it all really worth it? I think so. But it goes to show that
you cantalways trust people close to you or who say all the
right things.If you say the wrong things some how they seem
to fit and make it right.
In the last four months ive leaned a big part of who i am and who i need to be.
This town with be the death of me if i dont leave soon. Slowly it kills me day by
day.But really i'd rather see it kill me then ever have to leave. I have the best
family in the world.I dont believe in friends much anymore. But family is what
i have.We are all different but some how we come together to form something
so great nothing can ever compare.Were all like a piece of a puzzle no one
piece is the same but we all fit together to form something truly amazing and
new. We could be mad at eachother and say mean things that we dont mean
but if we needed one another we would all walk a thousand miles and meet
in the middle to be there for eachother.But it just goes to show that even through
the bad you know you can count on them.This family has truly saved my life.
Im free today. I can breathe again and it dosent hurt. My lungs arent caving in
and my head is straight.Everyday is something new something unique.Ive
changed a lot but not to much. It took sixteen years to figure out what i need,
when really i always had it at a reach.It just took certain people to open my eyes.
I have a handful of hero's, some i wouldnt trade for the world. And a list of things
i should regret and want to take back, but i wouldnt even if it cost me my life.
I dont believe in anything, but there are plenty of things to believe in
[]][i honestly dont miss you.i just miss what we were.but then again im not sure
if i even miss that.You'd be smart to never come back here,there are a list of
people that want a hold of you,including me.I pretty much hate you with almost
all the blood in my body.]]]] |
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| When the world collides. |
[Mar. 13th, 2008|07:48 pm] |
I know you'll be by my side.
Money and War. Love and Happiness.
People kill people. And the love of money becomes over powerful.
You create your own happiness and your own sadness. If you let
evil over come good, one day the good will over come the evil.
It takes time and if you just believe then anything can happen.
Even changing the stars.
We simply live to please,but who are we pleasing?
Everyone around us.
And at times we should live to please our self's,but we don't.
All is well in love and war. We fight because we love. We love because we can over come the fight and be better as a whole. |
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| Today is a new day. |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|04:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
If your love does not work with one person, it just means that someone else loves you more.
Today is a new day. A new day for living,a new day to just breathe, to just relax. I've found that you can always
trust the people closest to you,that therefore most of the times those people are the ones to screw you over.
MOST of the time,not always.
My name is Kaylerzz and I'll be the one to rock this bitch. I'm different today then i was yesterday.
16 years of age,knowledge, and beauty. I'll be the first to tell you that I'm not perfect. I can be a dick,
just like you and everyone else. I'm learning as i live. I've made some mistakes and yet no one do I regret.
I don't believe in anything, but there are plenty of things to believe in. And I am by far something amazing.
I have a gift you'll never be able to rap your fingers around. Even if i hate you I'd still stand by your side if
you needed me. How many people can say that and truly mean it? I bet know one you know. Second
chances aren't always a bad things. Neither is letting go of something that happened a while ago. I live
for the moment and if you can make me smile you've won me over. Theres this wonderful man in my
life at the moment,i wont dare tell you his name. But even after a month of me feeling sorry for myself
and everyone telling me to get over it,all he had to do was say a simple sentence and it finally clicked.
Take that,stick it in your juice box and suck on it. And I will do my very best to show him that everything
will be okay.
If you new me yesterday you'd know that something was different today.New hair and a new pair of jeans
just makes you feel good. And I'd be dammed if I let someone take it away from me now. My head is straight
again and my mind is in the middle.You'll never have the right closer so stop trying,baby it isnt worth it.
I'm not your baby girl and I wont stand next to you just to stand. Im 5'3 of human flesh. I eat breathe sleep shit and TALK.
Don't like it keep movin,this aint a buffet. You dont pick a choose in the game.
I'm done taking peoples crap. Its times to really stand up and show them that I mean business.
Life is good at the moment,only one thing can make it better and I'm getting there.
This was kinda just a rant.But most had a point or a story behind it.
This is only a part of who I am. And I am dam proud of who I am in this day.
roosinmyheartalways
<3 |
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